The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook and Cooking through My Grief

Taking it one recipe at a time. 2013 will be mainly focused on "The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook," by Dinah Bucholz, and how doing what I love, cooking, being with my family and reading Harry Potter will help me process my grief associated with loosing my 3 week old daughter, Ruby, on November 18th, 2011.
Join me for a "culinary magical masterpiece" throughout 2013!

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Grieving Grandparents/Cherry Bakewell Cake (from Hermoine)

 This week I made my Harry Potter meal at my Mothers. It turned out delicious! It almost tasted like a cherry cobler, but with toasted almonds on it! (thanks to my Mother who knows how to toast almonds to perfection!) My Mom is the whole reason my sister and I love to cook! She has inspired us so much in fact that we look at cook books during our free time and dream about making so many yummy things! I was thinking that this post will be in Memory of Grandparents and their grief. I guess really the people I should have writting this post is Ruby's Grandparents, but I will put things in my perspective and they can add any additional thoughts if they would like.
 I never realized how Grandparents can be so involved and conected to their Grandchildren. Perhaps because I didn't have a close relationship with my Grandparents it hindered my depth of understanding. Ruby's Grandparents were at the hospital with us, every opportunity they got! The strength that Brian and I recieved from them is insurmountably large! We could lean our grief on our parents, and our hope would come from them also. One particularly hard day at the hospital I went home and my Dad put his arm around me and told me that "Ruby isn't giving up, Why am I?" It was true, I was giving up hope and just having his loving arms buoy me up like that refreshed my will to continue to fight for Ruby right along side her. Then, when the time came for her to leave this world I told Brian that the only people I wanted in the room with us when she passed was our parents, I guess somehow Ruby heard that wish, and she passed away in the quite hours of the night with just us, our parents and a few doctors/nurses in the room. We all shared our grief that night, and reminsisced of our fond memories of Ruby's short life. And then we all together started the walk of grief, all 6 of us. I feel that everyone's grief is their own and their stories can be so different, and as time progressed I realized that in some ways my parents grief was deeper then my own. I grieved for my loss of Ruby, but they grieved for the loss of a beautiful Granddaughter and grieved from seeing their children burdened with loss, and not having any way to make it better. It makes sence since as a parent I want to take away all the pain and hurt from my Rose and Clark, and from watching my parents and Brian's parents I realize that that never changes with time.
  It is so wonderful to be able to walk this path of sorrow and sweet memories with my parents and my in-laws. There was a magical connection that happened to us all the night that Ruby passed away, I can't explain what exactly that magical connection is, but it is there. Perhaps we are all just knit tighter together from an immense amount of Love we all share for our little Ruby!

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