The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook and Cooking through My Grief

Taking it one recipe at a time. 2013 will be mainly focused on "The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook," by Dinah Bucholz, and how doing what I love, cooking, being with my family and reading Harry Potter will help me process my grief associated with loosing my 3 week old daughter, Ruby, on November 18th, 2011.
Join me for a "culinary magical masterpiece" throughout 2013!

Monday, April 16, 2012


I walked into Rose's bedroom this morning to get her ready for preschool and as I opened the door her morning greeting to me was, "I singing." "What are you singing?," I asked, as she started to sing "I am a child of God." Sometimes this little girl catches me by surprise, when I am expecting to hear "Twinkle, Twinkle little star," or "Popcorn Popping." These little moments with her happen periodically that help reboost my "Mothering" role. You wouldn't know from the way she was acting this morning that a few 12 to 13 hours earlier Mr. B and I were listening to a full on screaming/crying tantrum in the car the whole ride back from Grandma's house because we told her she couldn't have desert because she didn't eat any dinner.
Parenting is hard. So many times Mr. B and I look at each other in desperation wondering "what the heck do we do about this attitude, or saucy response, or stubbornness." How do we teach her to be respectful, caring and sensitive? This morning I ordered a book that I am hoping will give Mr. B and I some direction on a parenting style that will work for Rose and her personality, but sometimes I wonder if we are just overreacting. She is 3...and 3 is not easy, from what we have been told. So, besides the tantrums and the stubbornness of Miss Rose we have moments, good moments that pull us through. We went camping this past weekend and I loved watching the carefree way she could run through the field, flying a kite, picking dandelions for Mommy and blowing on the little white puffy weeds(don't know their official name). It was wonderful to see Mr. B teaching her how to fish and pet a pony. Every day and moment we have with Rose is an adventure. I love when she will walk up to me and while standing tall and looking into my eye's she'll sing "Teach me to walk in the light of his Love, Teach me to pray to my father above, Teach me to know of the things that are right, Teach me, Teach me, to walk in the light." (yes, she has done this a couple of times). This of course happened the morning after I had spent the night on my knees praying that God will help me know how to raise Rose, the way He wanted me to. It was as if God answered my prayer through her saying, "I already trust you to do a good job, keep doing what your doing." Its amazing the amount of Love I have for my two daughters. Thankfully one has already made it back to heaven, and is perfect and hopefully the 24 days I had to be her Mother I played my role well. Now we have a crazy, sweet 3 year old who's parents don't know what they are doing and are just trying to take it one day at a time and hope that we don't cause any lasting trauma to her childhood. I found a new quote I am trying to live my life by. It says:
"Don't let the sadness of your past,
and the fear of your future
ruin the happiness of your present."

I was listening to a talk this morning about the importance of Husband and wife and children. I wanted to share it with you. Many things in the talk touched my heart, buoyed me up and helped me realize that I'm not alone, and that I can raise my Rose and through my Love, patience and kindness with her, she will make it through, we will make it through, and we will all be able to be with our little Ruby again, as a family unit.

It is called "And a Little Child Shall Lead them," by Boyd K. Packer