The other night I was laying in bed, trying to sleep and my mind wandered back to 2011, back to Rosie's surgeries, and the emotional pain for me having to watch her poked again, and again, and again and her screaming. Then it wandered to Ruby and the many times I felt tortured inside having to watch her be poked and poked and poked and unable to scream, because of her weak heart, and also because of the tube's down her throat, but I could see the tears pouring down her cheeks...I found myself cringing inside reliving every minute of pain for my daughters when the thought crossed my mind that its time for me to accept that this happened, and that I can't change it. I have to learn to accept every emotional upheaval in order to find peace. I then refocused my memories. Relived a few of the difficult ones and then told myself that that incident truly happened to my daughters, I really felt the anquish that I still felt that night, but its okay know. Its okay, I can exist with these memories and this pain, but the pain can lighten. With every bitter memory I am learning to accept and move on. In a way I guess I feel that through accepting it I am going to forget what Rose went through, or forget about Ruby. Yet, these memories I have are ones that may dim over time, but will never be forgotten. So, now that it has been a year I am realizing it is time to accept, still love myself and make an effort to move beyond the pain of the moments!
To my readers, who have dealt with painful memories of the past, how do you learn to overcome and live with that memory, but not have it consume you?
To my readers, who have dealt with painful memories of the past, how do you learn to overcome and live with that memory, but not have it consume you?
Turn to the Savior Amber. Sometimes things feel too heavy and I just have to ask him to carry my load, because I can't anymore. After reading about hope this week in family night, we came up with the thought that "WE have Hope,
ReplyDeletebecause we have Jesus Christ"
He has felt your pain, and He has felt it countless times. He can hold you and comfort you. For some reason we are supposed to feel pain, but he can help lift much of it! It is real!
Love you and all Parents and Grandparents who have lost a child. Prayers to you all!